Traffic Control

-
    I'm not sure where the intersection is between mainstream and DID therapy, but I'm thinking that part of it lies in cuing. If 3 does the guitar and I want to practice, then I block off an hour for 3. Switching is important, so I should make sure I'm scheduling some time for each. I get so overwhelmed with planning tasks. I freeze from the get-go. I sit and stare. Starts and stops. What's worse is when someone tries to take over. Then I move towards panic or fight flight. 
    In the hospital I just shut down. I could see people weren't listening, so I didn't engage. No point. I didn't have the energy or strength to fight them. I don't know what Gullet thought. We barely spoke. McClinton was frantic, but I was dissociative. Not totally there. I know she tried. There wasn't much they could do. Not in that environment. Quetiapine reduced the symptoms, but I had too many adverse effects. So now aripiprazole. And counseling to think through the rest. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Please let me know what you think.

Popular posts from this blog

Disconnect

-
  The voice on the phone was familiar to him and still talking, but he had stopped listening several minutes ago. She obviously didn't realize this because the cadence did not change. He was far away, floating somewhere far above where he lay sprawled on the floor, his tense hand still clutching the cold receiver in some sort of karate death grip. His breaths were slow and shallow, his body motionless, and from the vacant look in his eye, one might mistake him for dead and gone. But Eddie was very much alive on a physical level, even if emotionally he was numb. He could still hear her words in the distance. He didn't really need to hear them. He knew what the message was. In some sense he had seen this coming. He never acknowledged it, of course, but the gnawing dread, the feeling of falling, had been there in the background for quite some time. The words themselves were unimportant and expected, words like "time", "space", and "different". Yet s...
Latest Post

Carolina Drugs (By Ashes and Dr. Dust)

-
Image
Carolina Drugs! ((Chorus)) Carolina...knows how to drug me! Carolina...knows how to drug me! In the citaaay of GSP (yeah, yeah) In the citaaay of good ol' gReedy In the citaaay, the city of Maudlin We keep it druggin! We keep it druggin! Yeah! Now let me welcome every patient to the mild, mild South! A state that's untouchable like Jesus himself. The pills hit ya esophagus and soon ya depressed Pack a script in your pocket, seek out EMS We inna Palmetto state wit our gospel and country  A state where ya never find a waiting room empty Pharms on a mission for the perfect drug Selling it up with the CHING and a snarky shrug I been in the game for 30 years bein loons Now Memorial switched itself to Maroons Back in '97 they used to chart me N watch me Scrubs shinin like I robbed tha supply room It's all blessed, from the foothills to tha harbor My minds running around, back and forth, now it's farther Throw up a script if ya think they fixed me Ashes puttin it down for ...
Latest Post

Minipress (Prazosin)

-
I'll never forget Mini press. This is some highly dangerous stuff. The red pills. It decreases adrenaline. Makes you think things are ok. deactivates fight or flight. decreases nightmares for some people. BUT WHEN YOU COME DOWN... shit gets real. suddenly you're freaking out and can't stop. Nothing makes it stop. That's probably why they dye it red. it's an alpha-blocker. primarily for blood pressure. Beta blockers are safer, less powerful. The blue pills. Propranolol. 
Latest Post