Darkness Until Dawn

      What I do like about this middle ground finding thing is that I feel more peace and I feel more connected to myself. I don't always feel connected to other people. I have gotten a lot of advice. I like that I think about electronics less. I still use them a lot, but they are less of a preoccupation. I feel that I'm seeing medication more realistically. I feel that my compassion is actually increasing. I was always angry; it was just a medicated angry.       Now the emotions are more obvious, and that scares people. They think that they can drug or talk or explain away the anger and the issues, but life just doesn't work that way. I have to actually deal with my problems. I feel like part of that is having really honest communications with health care professionals and budgeting more carefully. Handling trust and relationships differently. Not hiding so much. Which is why I do these posts. So, people can see the reality behind the chaos. Otherwise...

 

  Miss you

I'm here

     Guilt is ever present in today's society. Because shame is a way that society enacts control, guilt is a holiday thing, it is a duty thing, it is a thing of accusations and recriminations. It is the relative that keeps asking no matter how many times you say no. It is the friend who lays everything on you. It is the inverse of duty, it is the failure to meet obligations imposed, whether rightfully or not. 

     I'm working on leaving the house more often and understanding people better. Not so much why they do what they do, but why they feel the way they feel. My most common emotions are anger and fear. It used to be sadness, but that's gotten better. The anxiety is definitely the worse of the two. Sometimes I have positive emotions. Happiness, love, amusement, connection.       Fear, sadness, and anger seem like a triad. They lock together like armor, impenetrable. I got to the point I was taking so much inositol that my digestion was disrupted. The chamomile lavender tea is better. Holy Basil tea tastes pretty bad, but it calms incredibly. Ashwagandha tastes a little better but doesn't seem quite as effective for me. I'm trying to use the five senses more, as well as l-theanine and Atarax.

 Phone: RING! Me: WHAT????

What is it?      Anxiety is an emotion that tells us when something in our life seems out of place or improper.  What does it tell us?      Anxiety tells us to exercise caution, to think before acting. How to deal with it?     Visualizations are fantastic for anxiety. Deep breathing. Ice. talking to someone. Counting down from 100 by 7s. A good joke. Singing. Moving your body (dance). Yoga. running.  Body sensations     Tightness, faintness, blurred vision, sweating, butterflies, heart racing, restlessness, energy Examples?     Making a speech, driving in a busy area, telling someone bad news.

Boundaries are limits that individuals set for themselves and communicate to others, defining acceptable and unacceptable behaviors in relationships, work, and personal life. They are essential for maintaining mental health, fostering healthy relationships, and preserving personal well-being.  Types of Boundaries: Physical Boundaries: These relate to personal space, touch, and comfort levels.  Emotional Boundaries: These involve respecting and managing one's own emotions and not taking on the responsibility for others' feelings.  Intellectual Boundaries: These pertain to respecting individual thoughts, beliefs, and opinions.  Financial Boundaries: These involve setting limits on how much time, money, or resources are allocated to others.  Workplace Boundaries: These relate to respecting work hours, responsibilities, and expectations.  Importance of Boundaries: Mental Health: Boundaries help individuals protect their time, energy, and emotional well-being....