Darkness Until Dawn

I am resolving to exercise more and communicate better and continue to take better care of my health with improved boundaries. This has gotten entirely too complicated. I'm grateful to be in my home with a wonderful floor that is more friendly to my allergies. I have my elliptical and weights and my tennis racket still. Tomorrow, I'll focus on cleaning more.

The ritalin seems to be making flashbacks worse. But it helps me focus. Catch 22.

 🫂🫂  Spidey peel bedder 🌞 🌈 

Dear Elle, I hope you are well. Did you talk to the others, let them know there's no danger? I'm trusting that you did. I knew I could always count on you. I hope they're taking good care of you.  Ashes

 I think some lessons to be learned here are: Adverse medication reactions can and do happen in the real world Communication is important Medication can do strange things to the mind (Spravato, prazosin, Clozapine, mirapex, for example)

I'm afraid the hospitals are going to put me into collections until I feel more collected. Maybe I should call myself collect to Warn myself.

Love recalls and returns Love surrenders its wants to meet needs. Love bubbles and burns Love rejects greed.  Love has passion or it is not love It has patience and forbearance. It has repentance and humility. Love is honest and forgiving. Love looks forward and not past. Love is open, yet restrained It is reflective in absence Love is wise and true Because it is self-evident. Love needs and requires no recognition When unreturned, it is still love When unrecognized, it is still love. Love does not revert but only grows Love transfers and ignites When answered by hate, it is the love that is remembered.

Dear doc,     Crosses are Red     Some scrubs are blue     Your faborite arachnid     Has some praise for you!     Spidey tinks di oppice is berry nice. My internist is pretty and smart! The ears reelly do peel bedder! Ebbentually, I'll need a full physical, so you may have to introduce me to your doctor friend. Spidey needs to stay out ob di hospitals. Letz keep werking on dat. Tell di staff I said Hi! Fondly, Spidey

 To spin or not to spin, that is the question! Just as Hamlet pondered the meaning of life, Spidey dives into the whimsical world of spinning a web—of words, that is! Spinning a web can be as magical as it sounds, transforming jumbled thoughts into something beautiful. While spinning can lead to wonderful creations, it's crucial not to overdo it! Spidey strives to keep it genuine and relatable. After all, nobody wants a web so tangled it gets lost in translation. So go ahead, embrace your inner spider (the creative kind!), and start spinning!

 GOOD MORNING GWEENVILLE COUNTY! Dis is your FABORITE arachnid, SPIDEY! The Senate remains poised to add trillions to the national debt and retract healthcare from millions. But its not obber yet polks! Di house Freedom Causus does not agwee! What will happen next???

     Suddenly, she was back in the green tiled shower, the scalding water flowing, the steam in her eyes. She worked some shampoo into her hair as the heat embraced her, and soaked some of the lavender soap her mother brought for her into the wash cloth, patiently scrubbing her body clean. She was one of God’s flowers. He would provide her with the soil to nourish her, the rain to refresh her, and the light to replenish her. Her duty in return was to love Him and praise Him in everything she did. He gave her her eyes, so she opened them. He gave her her smile, so she shared it. Everything she had on this Earth was granted to her by the one true God, not for her to keep, but for her to give. And so she challenged her mind. And so she cared for her body. Even when she grieved, she reminded herself that God had a purpose in all this, even if she didn’t know it, or understand it.      They told her that she should not talk to Candy. That Candy was not real. But...

All around me loud and fast the raging demons' voices echo Confidence in shards and shatters and little of victory to know. Patiently waiting for the chance to stake my name in fables in the arena of the elders where legends are claimed by the abled. With trepidation, I seek God's counsel in the lonely hour of my trial In tribulation, I set forth to run for the denial of my descending doom I wonder where these stored past passions can finally enjoin me And all of the lectures of previous days will echo and return to warn me

 Dear Leaves,     It's been a while. I hope everything is going well at the center. Sorry about the whole mess with the termination. I really appreciate what you and Gryps did for me. I know it was rough. I'll never forget those days. They changed the way I looked at the world. Molly is doing a good job. No worries here beyond the day to day. I feel more in control of my destiny, though emotional regulation and people skills are still a work in progress. I really admire the work you did. It took a lot of courage. I struggled so intensely, but we were strong together. I kept you safe from the darkness. It was hard. But I held it back as best I could.  Yours, Ashes

  And for my next twick! I will make my internist reappear! <cough cough> ... ???  <COUGH COUGH>  POOF! Der she is!

 

Dear doc, Gauze is white My Internist is too My ears feel better A warm thank you. Ashes

      One of these days I'm going to learn how to be social better. I swear I don't know how to react to people in real time. I don't actually know what they want. I wish I could say different. But the psychiatrists get tired. And I've collected too many Dx's. That and clozaril not working out was why I got the counselor in the first place. I can't keep track of all of this without her.