Darkness Until Dawn

So, if anyone has any questions about how to treat my professionals with respect, I refer you to your ethics requirements from your licensures, South Carolina State Law, Federal Law (including but not limited to HIPPA), SCDHEC, DSS, THE MEDICAL BOARD OF THE STATE OF SOUTH CAROLINA, OR IF NECCESSARY TO THE POLICE OR A COURT OF LAW.  You don't want to follow the law? Try me. ANY QUESTIONS? ANYONE? ANYONE FROM SOUTH CAROLINA, PLEASE? NO? SHUT YOUR DAMN TRAPS.

Oh, the Internist is gonna be so proud. I love to make my doctors PROUD.  Now it's brain fog. But hey, lost a lot of weight and stopped ADHD medication. Plus flashbacks of hospitals and of multiple near death experiences. My brain is tired.  So it's more of the same. Rest, mild exercise, nutrition, electrolyte water, calm app.  Do I revel in being miserable? Not quite. Seriously, you try stopping Clozaril after 21 years and see what happens. You stop retaining water, you stop wanting to eat, headaches, flashbacks, moodswings, BP changes, heart rate drops, even your body temperature is different. Slightly lower. Fatigue, nausea, tingling, twitches, tinnitus... feeling narcoleptic because you don't sleep deeply.  But seriously, if that stuff was helping, how did I manage to OD on three bottles of scripts while on a therapeutic dose? Anyone? Anyone at all? It wasn't helping. So now the chemically suppressed memories and emotions come out and the body struggles to keep t...

Some say love, it is a river That drowns the tender reed Some say love, it is a razor That leaves your soul to bleed Some say love, it is a hunger An endless aching need I say love, it is a flower And you, its only seed It's the heart afraid of breaking That never learns to dance It's the dream afraid of waking That never takes the chance It's the one who won't be taking Who cannot seem to give And the soul, afraid of dying That never learns to live When the night has been too lonely And the road has been too long And you think that love is only For the lucky and the strong Just remember in the winter Far beneath the bitter snows Lies the seed that with the sun's love In the spring becomes the rose