I've tried to be honest on this website about mental health. It's taken a few detours and it's not always been pretty, or anywhere close to it. I miss feeling like I had a crew. Having an independent voice is isolating. I have not enjoyed the experience. Trying to inspire others in a world of differing views is a strange business. I feel disingenuous if I'm always positive and full of hope. I try to be honest, and that doesn't always allow for painting in the brightest colors. What's most disturbing to me has been the shifting of loyalties as I've said more and more. All I'm saying is what has happened. It's gotten so extremely personal. It makes me wonder how you can be personal with someone and still be their friend. I like to lift others up, even by admitting fault. I don't want to be the perfect one. It's not realistic. I'm definitely not perfect, I'm not actually well liked. What I learn about peo...
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Self imposed isolation
I feel that self-imposed isolation can be helpful. It's really not been working out socially. It just seems like my communication has not been up to my environment. I want to contribute positively to the world. Thats why I stay away. Because I want to remember the positive and stop creating negative. I can't hit life's speed bumps at 100 mph. I need to be deliberate. I feel sad that I can't be with people I care about. It makes me even more sad to think I've let them down. They said I was good with words. So I'm sharing only my words as much as possible. I'm trying to sculpt those words to make them even better. I want people to remember the good things because I struggle to know what to do. I need to be humble. I need to offer the best of me. So I'm working on my words. Trying to find the right ones, so that when the moment is right, I can give them. I feel like half of what I've said has led me the wrong paths. I need to look within and find t...
