Darkness Until Dawn

Things got outta hand, yeah. So, I cleaned the kitchen a bit. Put up some clothes. Cat's looking good. Printer won't cut me a break this time. Drivers seem out of date. I may have to contact them. Edit the forms electronically. Technically, I'm still me, but less entangled.  I looked up cults, and I found this: The psychology of cults involves understanding how groups can exert undue influence over individuals, leading to manipulation, control, and potential harm. Cults often exploit vulnerabilities and employ various psychological tactics to break down an individual's sense of self and loyalty, replacing it with a collective identity and devotion to the group and its leader.  Key Psychological Factors: Traumatic Narcissism: Cult leaders often exhibit narcissistic traits, using manipulation, control, and emotional blackmail to establish a bond of dependence with followers.  Group Cohesion: Intense group activities, rituals, and a sense of belonging can create a stron...

I remember youth. Sometimes my ears would turn red. Parents were like, whats wrong. Took me to internist. The internist had a roundabout way of saying I was embarrassed. Now its face burning. You could say hormones or a chemical or nutrition. Maybe its just anger. People are not, in fact, robots. Emotions are not wrong. Perfection is not to be expected. Relationships go sour. Jobs go sour. Sometimes you need a vacation. Or do that walking away thing. Sometimes, communicating in writing is the best one can hope for. 

People are like, don't say this, don't say that. Do this, don't do that. Pick something already? Or maybe just give me my words in advance? Nice guys do finish last. Being strong and being nice don't always work well together. Sometimes you have to make people angry. Sometimes helping people means doing what they don't want you to do, saying what they don't want to hear. And if they don't listen, you walk away or get louder. You don't keep walking down that dead end road. 

This Person is under maintenance until anger becomes less of a vocabulary word. I'm simply going in too many directions. I care about the kids. They know that. I'm there from a distance. At times, it does seem like there are sides. Almost like being split between different interests or groups of people. 

A little less angry... A little more organized... Slow but not too slow... More judicious with honesty... Maybe just taxes and writing... A little less driven to distraction... A little less blame... A half dozen fewer people with lower morals... one car washed... A few clothes to donate... A few less doctors in my head.