Darkness Until Dawn

    I can understand why some people are frustrated. We see the present through the lens of our understanding of the past. For a lot of the Bipolar education and treatment, it was only me and a doctor. They don't know the extent to which I was misled and miseducated. All they know is their experience: It's been chaotic, with a lot of meds and theory. It would be much easier if it was all just made up, rather than a misinterpretation. It takes a lot of energy and time to entertain misconceptions. I don't have that energy and time. It's a waste of energy and time. That's why I focus on basic symptoms that everyone can agree on: things like dystonia. I'm focusing on my strengths: written words. I'm focusing on basics: proper nutrition and managing my finances. We have limited time on this earth; I hope to create something with my words. Something people can enjoy... stories and poems.      I have to have some truth in my life, even if everyone else is in love w...

     Ok, so I had some clarification explained to me. Even though I'm confident I don't have Bipolar, I do have something else... several somethings... autism, ADHD, and cPTSD/DID. Which means I don't have FDIA, I was just a little miseducated on what I do have. It was still harmful to be misdiagnosed and miseducated on my health. I do think that having more control over my healthcare and more education on my actual problems has been helpful. Maybe my life will seem a little less like a game of "Clue" now that I've cleared up some of that.      I haven't been fighting just for the sake of being disagreeable, I've been fighting for clarity. This time I have taken to be alone and to seek counseling has helped me find that clarity. But these crusades by certain people in my life to push narratives on Bipolar and drugs have been distracting, to say the least. I hope I have seen the end of the crusades. I'm tired of fighting. It's a relief just to b...