Darkness Until Dawn

 Dear Small, Spidey tried. Missed di boat. At least i don't have to pretend. Hopefully i won't see you ennytime soon. Spidey

Dear Elle,     I remember the old days, when I used to keep the anger more hidden. At least it seemed that way. I've been in the system too long. I miss the way we used to talk. It seemed less serious. But maybe the time for humor has passed? Maybe it's time to be serious. I do feel like I am learning more. I don't see this as failure. I see it as the necessary next step. I hope wherever you are, whatever you are doing, you understand. You and Leaves both. I want you to be happy.       I miss you. Hopefully I've learned everything I needed to know from you. I need to focus. I feel like I've wasted too much time. I need to focus on being more productive and less angry. I just wanted to make you proud. I wanted you to want to say, yeah, I knew Ashes. He was a great guy. I'm sorry. I hope you're not upset. I have tried. Don't give up on me.  Yours, Ashes

Dear coffee,     Stocks are down,     Arachnids are brown,     I miss seeing Krystal,     Have you seen her around? Spidey

      I've struggled with trust. There was a breakdown of trust. But going back to the idea of love as expressed in Christian terms, it is possible to love, it is even possible to love a stranger. There was not much love lost between myself and the other patients at the hospital. They immediately latched onto DID as a sign of arrogance and pushed the drug addict narrative. They never gave me a real chance. Never saw me for who I was. They got stuck on the misconceptions and trying to analyze the DID thing. But it's hard to blame them because I overthought DID and found it confusing myself.      But I've been getting my anger back down and reaching out some more. I had a blip with the ritalin and it's not a smooth and steady process. I felt like I wasn't being given choices. When you're the youngest, you get a lot of unsolicited advice and the choices are often made for you.       I was stuck in patterns and I knew myself, I knew that if ...

     Dis is your faborite arachnid, Spidey! A warm shout out to the angels ob di Nort wing ob di Castle! Serbin di fiercest since 1969!     On to di wedder!  Today's high is 92, and its going to be sunny. Grab your sunscreen, vampiric bats, gonna be anudder scorcher!     In udder noose, the Supreme Court just limited the FDA authority over tobacco. Looks like that nicotine gum may be less useful. It's been hailed as a win for vape venders.      There has been a recall on Rachael's Ginger Beer. It has been containimated with bad cucumbers. The recall was issued June 18th.       The FDA allowed a manufacturer in India to continue shipping prescription medications to the US despite quality violations in the manufacturing process, including mold, foul water, faulty testing, and dirty conditions affecting 150 medications stocked in American pharmacies. The violations were discovered in 2022, but were not revealed...

  Volly, look, they're finally doing it! A perfect formation!

     I'm finally breaking my combinations. Cleaned out my professionals, isolated myself from social influences, de-numbified and de-drugged, took control of my healthcare, took control of my life, de-perfectionated... re-educated myself and took some guilt and anger off my plate. It was definitely a mistake to go gonzo with hospital insurance as a minor and drug it up. I needed to deal with my problems, controlling and toxic personalities that were in my life. People that wouldn't take no for an answer and were never satisfied. Been kicked around too long.      Some people were desperate for me to have bipolar. Because it avoids all responsibility. It puts the blame on the genetics and the drugs. Not on the relationships and the miseducation where it belongs. DID truly is a social problem. It's all about façades and lies and bad combinations. It's about a lack of communication. And it leads to things like not being able to maintain employment, unstable rel...