Posts

Rock Hill

Image
      She said to trust myself... and that is how I ended up in Rock Hill. Why did I go? I like to believe that God is listening. I like to believe that He brought me there for a reason.      What was that reason exactly? Why Rock Hill? Perhaps He wanted me to remember that I can trust people, that I am not alone. Perhaps He wanted me to see that there are good people in this world, even in places where I don't know anyone. Or maybe He was just sick to death of me sitting in Greenville feeling sorry for myself. Maybe He said get out and try to do something useful for once.

Starting New and Settling Down

Image
    I've come to the point that I feel like I need to think of the future and not of the past. It's time to settle down. Grow old with someone. Stop and smell the roses more. Enjoy people.

Time and Space

 I need to rest a while. I'm still trying to understand the present. We can argue about whether I've had a hard time. In the end... it's better that I'm alone. Being around people doesnt work so well. My body feels weaker. My emotions more powerful. People push too hard. They dont see me as a person, just a body. I can break. Empathy is in short supply these days.

Focusing on Self Care

 Flu like symptoms. Migraines. Confusion. It took me a while to realize how this communication is working. I dont get much privacy. I'm doing soups, teas, washing, cleaning. Nyquil. Tylenol. If anyone knows a good cleaning service... maybe an exterminator... I'll figure it out.

All the Things I couldn't Say

Image
     There were so many things I could have said in that ER. All the times I'd been there. Stretching back 30 years. I couldn't find the words. I was afraid to get near her or open up. She just sat and smiled. I didn't actually want to go inpatient. I just wanted to talk to someone. Have a doctor really lay eyes on me. I wish I could have said so many other things. But to be in those pods, no threats, no danger, no... uncertainty. I didn't think I was going back. I wanted to leave the hospital system. I walked in. I talked. I walked out. 

Recipes

     I'm working on learning some keto recipes. I've become fascinated by healthy eating. I want to learn how to make whole meals that are really super good for the body. Meals with stuff like protein and fiber, probiotics, low carbs, natural ingredients, and low sugar, among other things. I'm even interested in healthy drinks. I've been looking for the best places to source ingredients and researching recipes for breakfast and lunch foods, then I'm going to look at snacks and drinks more. I'm even looking at the best sweeteners for healthy blood sugar.
Image
  Merry Chwistmas to all, and to all a good byte!