To my awareness

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    There was one point i started dissociating really badly. The social worker Kat said that arson was off the team. TO MY AWARENESS she said, he's not part of the team. Later those words came back, and I started walking around repeating them... I wanted to break something. Very badly. 
    Then they wondered why I said I wanted to hurt my counselor. Because I needed her and she was not there to explain to them. Because apparently, I wasn't explaining very well. Instead, I was stuck in that toxic mess, and no one was actually helping me. So, I asked for seroquel because I knew it would calm me down long enough to get out. And once I was out, she could help me. Hopefully the past will only make more sense as time goes on.

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