Darkness Until Dawn

 I need to rest a while. I'm still trying to understand the present. We can argue about whether I've had a hard time. In the end... it's better that I'm alone. Being around people doesnt work so well. My body feels weaker. My emotions more powerful. People push too hard. They dont see me as a person, just a body. I can break. Empathy is in short supply these days.

 Flu like symptoms. Migraines. Confusion. It took me a while to realize how this communication is working. I dont get much privacy. I'm doing soups, teas, washing, cleaning. Nyquil. Tylenol. If anyone knows a good cleaning service... maybe an exterminator... I'll figure it out.

     There were so many things I could have said in that ER. All the times I'd been there. Stretching back 30 years. I couldn't find the words. I was afraid to get near her or open up. She just sat and smiled. I didn't actually want to go inpatient. I just wanted to talk to someone. Have a doctor really lay eyes on me. I wish I could have said so many other things. But to be in those pods, no threats, no danger, no... uncertainty. I didn't think I was going back. I wanted to leave the hospital system. I walked in. I talked. I walked out. 

     I'm working on learning some keto recipes. I've become fascinated by healthy eating. I want to learn how to make whole meals that are really super good for the body. Meals with stuff like protein and fiber, probiotics, low carbs, natural ingredients, and low sugar, among other things. I'm even interested in healthy drinks. I've been looking for the best places to source ingredients and researching recipes for breakfast and lunch foods, then I'm going to look at snacks and drinks more. I'm even looking at the best sweeteners for healthy blood sugar.

  Merry Chwistmas to all, and to all a good byte!

    I'm focusing on keeping my days consistent. Every day, Repeating the same habits, keeping it simple. I'm turning my attention back to All the Colors of the Rainbow for a bit.

     I am engrossed in my research for my Civil War Greenville book. The more research I do the more I know I need. I'm working on clarifying the city's status leading up to the war... what businesses were here, the notable people, things of that nature.