Maybe this paranoia thing isn't so bad. 🤔 My social life hasn't been incredibly successful recently anyways. Maybe this gives me the space to actually refocus myself.
Posts
Dear God, I've been tested. I have failed here and there, as you know, but this is getting a little ridiculous. Please grant the health care professionals the wisdom and the humility they need to stop pushing Bipolar narratives and narratives about other professionals. I think they're getting there, but they may need some help, especially if my family is feeding them false narratives. Grant the Health Department of the good State of South Carolina the wisdom it needs to stop wasting time and resources dealing with this little circus. To see that it does not help anyone. To see that if the doctors simply open their ears and close their mouths, they might save themselves some time and grief. Grant them the wisdom and the patience to keep my medicine filled. Thank you for the things that help me be what you intended and to follow your plan. Thank you for the strength, patience, and fortitude to wade through this nonsense. I really don't enjoy m...
Connecting the Dots
At least the hospital is finally learning when enough is enough. If certain other people would finally take a hint, mind their own damn business, and stay out of my healthcare, a lot of people could breathe a little easier, not least of all me. I hate to have to consider legal remedies. It's not pleasant. I still have that one friend that works in the health department. Though we haven't talked in a long time. I've had to close a few doors. I can't afford more setbacks. Trust is a risk. I had a good talk with the healthcare team and adjusted emergency contacts. I'm not going to sign any further releases. It's time I learned my lesson. Some people will never give up. They'll shoot themselves in the foot to spite their patient, or their family, or whoever they feel they need to control. My life needs to feel a little less like a game of Healthcare Clue. If some people would just get a clue. I can't keep grinding the same stones. I don't hav...
You know, I'm feeling a bit more like my old self. The dots started connecting. I was remembering my last ER visit... comparing it with my conversation with the PA... they finally figured me out! I realized that the patient observer in the ER was following a script. I could tell because the life events she described were so very closely tailored to mine. She even changed her story a little, which made it seem rehearsed. I particularly liked the part where she insulted the doctors. And the part where she reported a doctor for mistreating a patient. Said she'd been dx'd bipolar and went off the meds. Described a traumatic event and multiple personalities. Not entirely sure how much of the story was based in fact. Anyways, I'm trying to be pragmatic. I really want to write some more. But the hospital seems to have surrendered on Bipolar... whatever they actually believe... I guess I can finally relax. Do what Arson said... try to enjoy life.
It's time to work on my records a bit. Some budgeting and planning time. Taxes is always a good reminder of the importance of keeping records. It turns out I forgot to include a form with my federal taxes and miscalculated my expenses. Hopefully I'll have a refund soon. I'm feeling much calmer with this new routine. I'm going to need to figure out how better to divide between writing and deliveries. Build morning and afternoon writing sessions around the driving. I actually enjoy Cold Mountain much more then Gone with the Wind. So far The Black Flower is good. I think I'm going to turn back to Tales of the Attick, The Watcher, and All the Colors in the next few days.