Darkness Until Dawn

    I've been giving my professionals feedback on how to help me. The biggest feedback is to simply hear my feedback. What all is right and wrong upstairs may be a matter of debate, but I'm not a child anymore. I for one am glad I got off Clozaril. It's been rough, but I know it was right for me.      Today I have the Sleep doc and the head doc as I continue my "health care journey". Sleep's been around 6 hours and I'm trying to fine tune my focus.       I think independence of thought is important, and that's hard to do within the system. Sometimes there's too many wheels bumping up against each other to keep them all moving in the same direction. That's why I like independent contracting and small teams. So long as each team keeps within the general ruleset, small teams can wiggle a little and still stay in line.      I can't jump on too many bandwagons. I'm getting myself down to a system that works for me. I feel like I exp...

Remember, Sarah, find Jess, don't come back with hospital supplies.

I hate Scammers. They're always coming up with new ideas. Tonight I got contacted by one, said they were going to pay me to use my photo for some art. Then they sent me a check, started ordering to send money here and there or they would report me to FBI. eventually I had to call police. They said to block all the numbers. So I did. Bank must be wondering wtf. Now I have to contact mauldin police if I get contacted again. I wish these people would find something else to do. I'm trying to get work. I don't need this stress.

Hard words delivered fast in a fury of certainty Melt back to the corners of my consciousness slowly When the fool marches forth with his lecturing and monotony I pause lest I respond too fast. My silence they mistake for weakness or impropriety, But it is only a measured response to their haste For there is no sense in speaking often and loudly To a man whose ears are wide yet shut. Words without impact carry no value I save mine for when the time is right And if that time never comes for us I let retreating footsteps say what remains. 

  Wake up Greenville County! This is your FABORITE brown recluse! SPIDEY!!!!

     I think it's time to review what I'm grateful for. I'm grateful for food, for having people that help me, for shelter, for medicine, for my health, for freedom, for my car that allows me to travel, for my talents, for my friends, for my cat, for my nieces and nephews, for nature, for time to heal, for the strength and patience that allows me to try again and to forgive.

Each day is another chance, another opportunity to show the world that I can. I can be more then the past. I can be more then what people say about me. Today is a day to give my best. For me, that means being selective about what I choose to be involved in. Careful choices. Deliberate choices. One choice at a time.