Darkness Until Dawn

I guess this is my time to demonstrate that I am strong and determined. I can't hold onto resentment.  Because I can be funny. I've made people happy. But something is different about me. I feel like maybe I made too many mistakes. I need to be careful. Lately there just seems to be bad communication going around. Maybe I'm holding on to too much. 

When my hands, they shake, and energy fails When fear comes hard and fast When my mind is lost in eternal space I have no recourse, I shelter in place When I cannot grasp the words that they say When my efforts come to naught When the safe harbor is lost to a serpent race I have no recourse, I shelter in place I hesitate to reach for my wrath For there must be another answer I search for the clues to find a new path I cannot fail this time.  Lost in the doubt and regret that I find I gather my patience and shelter my mind I know that I must give more effort and time When I lack my answers, I shelter in place.  I fear for the actions my mind commits I fear for the words I don't say I watch for the courage to come back in place But regrettably, I shelter in place I walk out of my shelter and scream at the sky and although it does not answer my screams and my cries When world loses temper and forgets its place I cry out to God and shelter in place.

  I wunder if she'll want dat in crickets or flies?

 Spidey just a liddle crayby, nodda lot, just a liddle.

  Maybe zee legged one was right... maybe zee doctor always wins...

She walked in silence, small and humble amongst the glass and rocks... Her barefoot feet somehow unmarred, in contemplation of the costs. She fled her ghosts and repelled their whispers And walked the long way home. She called her friends who would not answer She ran from all that she had known She ran from all her fears and frights and watched the ghosts of yesteryears As they laughed her demons to mockery... while she shed only invisible tears. She traveled the path they would not grant her So stubborn and defiant in her anger and fear She knelt before the angels and martyrs and prayed for abatement of this nightmare. She climbed again and kept her pace and ignored the voices harassing She ran to remember the kindest of men and mourned their violent passing. She chased the angels as they ascended Wishing she was one She left the heroes she had known for in her sorrow, they now were none.

I guess the hospitals felt that they could trust me because I was a doctor's son. I guess I felt could trust them for the same reason. But i guess trust just doesn't work that way. Because I'm not my father. Never was. I used to feel that the hospital was a safety net. That if all else failed, they would help me. Im worried what they would do if I ended up at a hospital again. CCBH. Memorial. Mip. Dangerous.