Darkness Until Dawn

Dey bedder be lice to Spidey. Spidey werked berry hard on dis.

   Dear Elle,     I can't stay here forever. I don't know where to go. I just know I have to go.      Is it my fault that you're inspiring? And you never even knew. For 23 years, you never knew. Not until that last day. You see, Leaves had told me. She said, you should tell her. And so, when I came back, after all that time, that last time... I remember writing the note in the hospital. I remember asking you to talk.       You took me into that storage room. The nursing interview room. I don't remember what the note said. Something about you watching over me. Mentioning your name in the ER was a mistake, by the way. I don't know exactly what they thought of my trauma list. They weren't thrilled. Anyways. That's when I told you about Leaves and read the note to you. I gave it to you and you slipped it up your sleeve. You know one of the nurses in the ER was like, yeah he's got pretty words but...      I remember the nu...

  Dear Elle,     I know it must seem strange that I write. But there's a lot I haven't said. While it was ill advised to contact you, I did what I did. It is done. I held onto to some words for many years. Now you have most. Let me add a few more.      I met you in '97. It was night. I was standing in line at the old medication window, lost in my thoughts. Black as night. So very lost. So far away that I was barely still alive, barely still on earth. I could show you the exact spot. A voice came alive, warm and kind. Gentle. And still, I was far, yet I could not help but think to myself... I need to know this voice. There you were. There you were. I remember you said I must be new, you asked my name. you gave me yours. you told me about your family, your kids, and there I felt safe, and didn't want to leave.      There's reasons I'm still here. They talk about healing, about moving on. I don't understand what that looks like exactly. I'm tryi...

Fall is not far. It reminds me of my old friend. I met her in late august, I believe. She is Leaves of September... I’ve forgotten only what I want to remember I’m trying so hard to recall that September When we were building the world anew You saw everything in me, and I in you.   You taught my eyes and mind to see A world, the same, but differently You showed me how to trust myself Instead of trying to be someone else.   And though you saw that me so clearly And helped me to try to simply be You didn’t see what was before you Or the entirety of what you signed up for   Now I know I must remember And blow to life hope’s dying ember There is so much that I’ve forgotten of that fall The Good, along with all that I don’t wish to recall   I’ve forgotten the smiles, both mine and yours Yet I remember the goodbyes, all the more All of the big things, small things, and more I remember the sorrow and have forgotten the joy   I know you’re still out there! And I wonder,...

Dear Elle, Did you ever know? Did you ever realize how much you meant to me? Can you understand that? You were my Lithium. So long as you were near, I felt calm.  Ashes

Dear Gus, You may not remember me, but I remember you. I met you before I met Elle or Anna. You were my tech back in the nineties in one of my first stints at MIP. You were with me on suicide watch. I remember you because you used to give me writing prompts before my writing started scaring the workers. You had brown hair and a mustache. Glasses. You were quiet. Cheerful. I haven't seen you in decades. I'm sorry yall couldn't fix me. But... it was nice knowing you. Ashes

     Ebbyone, back away from di arachnid! Spidey's not angwy ennymore. 'Sides, cobwebs to weave, black widow to pind.